Love the Kids

In the first week, the language barrier was my biggest concern due to my background and lack of proficiency in Vietnamese. While I could pick up some of the words and phrases, I relied heavily on Kristine to translate and communicate with the children. I would often have to ask her what a child said or tell the children to tell Kristine so she could translate for me. As a result, while I still bonded with the children my interactions with the children were primarily on a physical level, which made me frustrated. However, I felt my frustration was not a lack of language skills (I was simply using this as an excuse to not force myself into uncomfortable situations) but rather my level of comfort and willingness to speak Vietnamese. I knew this had to change because communication would be a big part of my relationship with the children and if I truly cared for them and wanted to help them I knew I had to be able to speak with them. This was the key to expanding upon our relationship, making it more beneficial to the children.

So this following week, I decided to put my excuses aside and really try to communicate with the children. While it was unfortunate Kristine was sick and could not go, it was a great opportunity for me to force myself to speak and verbally communicate with the children knowing Emily would have to rely on me. During the bus ride over to the orphanage, I was rather anxious thinking about how the next four hours would play out. When we finally got there, we greeted the children and they asked about chị Kristine. To my surprise, I was able to explain to the children that she was sick and while she wanted to come, she could not make it. The children responded by pointing out who among them had also caught some kind of sickness. This exchange went on for a little while with more kids jokingly saying they were sick: headaches, coughs, and even heartaches. We joked and laughed about it and after realizing that I had communicated with the children without any assistance I began to calm down and actually had a newfound willingness to talk and have more exchanges. We proceeded to move upstairs and we ate dinner and the conversations began to continue. Even Emily was able to speak a few words here and there and the children confirmed with me in Vietnamese that they understood. I realize that with Kristine gone I had assumed her role and I was actually doing a very adequate job. Later in the evening the children were able to teach me a few games that relied on using Vietnamese and I successfully learned how to play. In my mind, this had been the breakthrough I was looking for and now I knew I could finally begin to truly help the children.

This was one of my biggest goals from the beginning, to acquire enough Vietnamese to efficiently communicate with the children and subsequently, build a relationship with them and help them more. This week we again decided to keep the environment informal because I did not feel confident enough to adequately explain certain activities to the children. The relationship between myself and children is definitely growing and I have to admit I am moderately afraid that we are getting too attached. Personally for me, it doesn’t feel like an obligation to go and volunteer because spending time with the children make me feel like I’m at home again playing with all my cousins. Furthermore, I am bonding with all the children and I think they really trust me because they share with me their stories. There are moments when we are able to joke around and then moments when we can discuss more serious matters. However, being older and knowing the situation, I that I have to refrain from getting to close because I know the ramifications involved and in the end the children have the most to lose. This is a constant dilemma that is constantly in the back of mind, knowing that in just four months I will be returning home and the possibility that I will see these children again are very slim and unlikely. Nevertheless, I really care for all of them and I want to do everything in my power and with my limited time here to help them all succeed in one way or another. I am still searching for the answers and with this new breakthrough I think I am beginning to near it.