Rich in a Sense

I recalled having a conversation awhile back with my grandmother about why she decided to have ten children considering she did not have the resources to support such a large family. Her response was that when one converses with new people, they do not generally talk about finances or how much money they make but rather they talk about their family. For her she’d rather have a large family and struggle than be rich and have fewer children. Subsequently, for her wealth and happiness is measured by the family. While this struck me by surprise and I argued that it was faulty logic and I’d rather be rich financially than be rich with children, this actually seems to be particularly true among the older, traditional Vietnamese.

Earlier today I encountered two older gentlemen, who looked to be in their early fifties, while walking with a few fellow students and they invited us to sit and eat. They were very friendly and we soon discovered that one of the men was actually the owner of the Bun Bo Hue restaurant. We began to converse and discovered that they have actually been to America before and stayed for an extended period of time. As the conversation continued, we decided to interview these two men for our weekend assignment figuring this would be a very interesting perspective. So we started by asking the question about how to distinguish the categorization of being “poor” and “not poor.” By their attire, it was quite obviously they were well off so I personally expected them to speak about and focus on material things versus items of necessity, such as being poor signified not having a motorbike or a house. However, the two men came from poorer backgrounds and worked their way to become successful and they ultimately understood both sides of the spectrum. They shared similar ideas about what distinguished an individual as being poor such as not being able to provide basic necessities like food and shelter for family and constantly having to worry about money because you have no to very little of it. The owner of the shop shared with us his story about growing up having very little and sometimes having to go without food. What resonated with him the most was the suffering and sadness he saw in his parents faces knowing they could not support the large family. Nevertheless, he goes on to emphasize the importance of family and how he would not have made it to where he was today without them. This compelled me to think about my conversation with my grandma so I probed further and asked whether he would rather have a large family and be poor or be rich and have very few family members. To my surprise he didn’t suggest that one could be rich and have a large family, but rather he said he would always pick having a big family because money cannot buy you happiness.

The following question I asked in the context of development in Vietnam and so when I asked whether the gap between the rich and poor is increasing or decreasing, they both agreed it was dramatically increasing. They actually blamed the foreign influence and at that point referred to a few of us as being Viet Kieu, which actually offended me, but nevertheless I understood where he was coming from. He says that he was afraid when he opened his Bun Bo Hue shop that the northerners would not enjoy his food and business would be bad. However, the location of the shop exposed it to a lot of foreign customers and thus boasted business. Despite benefiting from this economically, he argued that foreigners are disrupting Vietnam and will further increase the gap between the rich and poor. Both men, while still courteous and pleasant to us, seem to have a negative attitude towards foreigners, particularly Vietnamese Americans who they view as not truly Vietnamese. So finally when asked what direction the gap was headed in the next ten years, they pointed to the foreigners walking past us and explained it would only get bigger.